Lockdown

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tonyp
Posts: 20543
Joined: 25 Jun 2005, 14:22
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Lockdown

Post by tonyp » 09 Apr 2020, 04:14

* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.


* I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.


* I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.


* Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom


* PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.


* Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.


* I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone



* This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



* So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?


* Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.


* My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.


* Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.


* I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?


* I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.


* Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.


* Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.


* Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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ashman
Posts: 18427
Joined: 07 Aug 2005, 08:51

Re: Lockdown

Post by ashman » 09 Apr 2020, 08:21

tonyp wrote:
09 Apr 2020, 04:14
* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
* I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
* I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
* Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
* PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
* Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
* I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
* This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
* So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
* Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
* My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
* Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
* I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
* I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
* Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
* Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
* Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under
Very good Tony. Funny, but I am sure most people can relate to this!
'Everybody needs to have a friend'

trevormans
Posts: 913
Joined: 11 May 2013, 20:21

Re: Lockdown

Post by trevormans » 09 Apr 2020, 20:33

Good one

Well done

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