Not for lawyers

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tonyp
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Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:13

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
:lol: :lol:
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:31

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:31

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:32

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:33

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:36

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 08:37

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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bristleposh
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by bristleposh » 09 Oct 2019, 09:08

:clap: :clap2: :clap:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

that is for all of them, very good
I don't judge people on race, religion, gender,
ability or size, I judge them on whether or not
they're a prat!

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tonyp
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Re: Not for lawyers

Post by tonyp » 09 Oct 2019, 09:49

bristleposh wrote:
09 Oct 2019, 09:08
:clap: :clap2: :clap:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

that is for all of them, very good
Thanks, Nick. I think the first one is funniest of all.
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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